self-portrait

I will let you go, I will set you free. and when you see what you need to see.

when you find you. come back to me.

MY WHOLE LIFE

  

I don't know if everyone else feels different as I do. But, I feel comfortable when I was there.
When I'm happy, sad, laugh, cry, hurt, depressed, stressed, or even worse than that.
When I open my eyes till I closed it again. When sometimes I feel so tired to stand-up.
Or maybe when I feel so alone. That's it.

COMPLEXITY DRESS - VIHADA

WONDERFULL DAY

     TAMAN SAFARI PUNCAK. MAY 5 '10.

"  I'm bigger than model size. I've got boobs and an ass. "

End of March

March has passed, I ended it with joy and sorrow, I felt so happy because I am already 19 but in the other hand I had to let my grandfather's died that day. Ok, forget the past, but for sure, I always pray for my grandfather a rest in peace. 

So much thing happened in early April, like job offers, to be a dance teacher, a sales assistant at ZARA, audition for a new vocal group, but most importantly, I'll soon open an online shopping site where that me and my sister become the owner also the designer, amen. 

Lately I've often heard the word 'whatever' out of his mouth, you know, boy-stuff. I just don't like it when that word used in all cases, what do you feel if someone you loved said 'do whatever you want to do and go wherever you want to go' it feels careless for me, for three days we're argued each other, but still we can pass go through the day. 

Sigh..almost midnight, I should go to sleep, awfully tired! Talk to you guys tomorrow, ADIOSS!! xoxo

the one with 'high and mighty', think that she/he's best of everything, two-faced.
hate it! and that's you.

GAGA IN WHITE! LOVE IT!

" all the promises we make
     from the cradle to the grave
  when all I want is you.. "

LOVES GAGA!

소녀시대 런데빌런 뮤직비디오

There was a day, when I asked to God

  'why did You not take me to Your exceptions list?'

  'there were so many girl with beautiful faces,
   but why did You not put me like they are?'

  'why not?'

But then, I was realized. If God put me to one of them, I would not felt the same way I feel right now with you. That's what I don't want to be real.

I currently listening to, Paramore - The Only Exception.



When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

"Your attitude rules my mood, my mood rules my world." -Marco

be true to who you are.

It's not about being pretty or beautiful,
it's about being brave to admit that beauty is inside.
                                                                                                                       
              
                                                                                                                         -unknown

It's March!

Halo people, it's been so long since i didn't write here, too many stories I want to share with.

First, I was finally watched Alice In Wonderland after three times I run out the tickets, for God's sake I'm so happy, Alice was so amazing! I wanted to watch it over and over again.

By the way, when I went out to see Alice on Blitz with my boyfriend yesterday, we realized that the time we spent together is filled with trying different foods, we loves to eat a lot, we eat and then do something bigger then eat again, always like that. FYI yesterday we ate brownie cup in Square One Cafe, that was Delicious! Trust me, you should go try it!
And the point is ... it's March! remember March last year? the worst March in my life so did the next months, April, May, June, July, August, also September. Fortunately it ended in October, I finally found the one who make me feel so comfort.
mmm March means my birthday, at the end of the month, yes the end of this month. I need some help, I was in trouble, not a big deal, just because so many wishes have to be fulfilled but not supported with you-know-what, oh God let me out of this. 

I think it's enough, catch ya' all later.

Love, Nicky.

                         P.S : my english was so bad, so please forgive me. xoxo

lookbook today

BIRTHDAY WISHLIST!

DENIM JACKET

BRANDY WOVEN TOP FOREVER21

YVES SAINT LAURENT CUT OUT WEDGES

DIOR HOMME SPRING/SUMMER 2010

ADIDAS SILVER SPRING/SUMMER 2010

a day with mr.bear

BCBGeneration Spring 2010 Ad Campaign

Emotion always has its roots in the unconscious and manifests itself in the body

With my eyes, I long for you
In my heart, I've found you
I can see the light that brightens me
I can't let go of the eternal happiness
Can you see me?
Call my name!
Open your heart whenever
and see that I'm always in front of you
Call my name! By your side
I will stay
I love you!
Let's be together, you and me forever

I know your ready to give up slowly.

And it hurt me, entirely.

You'll never know, how it feels to be me, boy.